What I’m Reading: The Crossroads of Should and Must

learning series Jul 19, 2021

Prepare yourself.  This isn’t your average self-help book.  This book is simply AMAZING as Elle Luna captures the essence of how and why we journey to find our MUST.  

‘Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we are doing when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self.  It’s that which calls to us most deeply.’  

Elle uses a delightful combination of wording, art, and playfulness to help our creative minds engage in thinking about our MUST.    The best part is, she writes it for real people like US.  She doesn’t use crazy big words, hard to understand sentences or impart ideas that are too far-out-there to consider.   She gently walks us through the practical parts of how to find your MUST, and the adult considerations to transition to your MUST.  

When you’re contemplating a transition, people can be quick to say ‘Just Do It’.   When you’re figuring things out, when you have bills to pay, and when you are a bit unsure, the advice of ‘Just Do It’ can be terrifying.   This book offers grace, kindness, and gentle guidance so you can choose and move at your own pace.  

What I loved most was Elle’s book really spoke to ME.  In the past decade, I’ve walked through a period of wondering what I’m made for, wondering what more is out there for me.  I’ve pondered thoughts like - What if THIS is it?  And, to be honest - I’ve not been thrilled when I’ve examined THIS.   

THIS represents the grocery list of SHOULDs that have followed me since childhood, that I’ve learned as an adult, and that I’ve fallen into professionally.  It looks like:

  • As a kid, I should be good.  I should be smart.  I should be nice.    
  • As an adult, I should have a good job, I should get married, I should have kids.  
  • At work, I should get that promotion, I should have another certification, I should be known in the industry.
  • I should, I should, I should. 

Where along the SHOULD train did I ever pause and wonder what MUST I do?   I’m not sure I’ve done all the self reflection on MUST, but this book helped me consider: What if my MUST doesn’t pay?  What if others don’t value my MUST?    

Elle has guidance:  Do you have a job, a career, or a calling?   Each of these is valuable in its own right, and each serves a purpose.  There is no judgement in having a job, a career, a calling, or a combination of these.  The question simply gives you a starting place so you can consider and choose where you want to be.  

At the end of the day, Elle reminds us:

There are two paths in life: should and must.  We arrive at this crossroads over and over again.  And every day, we get to choose.  

Yes.  Every day.  We get to choose.  Trust your instincts because you already have the answers waiting to be discovered.  

Thanks for the read!